How To Lose a Girl in 10 Days

HA! Ten? Try 1! It's really easy, it really is. Just act interested in a truly sincere way.

Be completely normal, say what you're thinking. Ask her questions about herself, things you want to know about her. Your responses need not be faked, you actually are interested in her, so just respond how you see fit. You know, a little touch on the arm, a coy giggle, whatever. During that night, go ahead and drink, but don't get so completely drunk that you wake up the next morning with mysterious bloody scratch wounds on your back and her vomit all over your freshly shaved chest. End the night like a normal person would, walk her to some adequate mode of transport. Say goodnight. Make some tentative plans to see each other again.

You know what? You've nearly done it. So long as you are less attractive than the non-existent but surely drop-dead gorgeous/handsome love child of Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, I can guarantee you that she's been lost. You are now completely dead to her and will most likely not be responded to regardless of how Zach Braff-Love Actually genius your text or voicemail may be. If, on the other hand, you want to attempt a long-lasting, meaningful relationship with her, then I guess you need to go for the mysterious bloody scratch wounds route.