Friday 30 October 2009

Part V: The Massive Let Down

Received:
Tom hello again ,I am here after my visit to the consulate and to the agency I am so happy to say we will meet in few days!!!! I am really lucky girl to meet you. Honey the thing is that everything is ready and I have to leave moscow on Saturday but I have a little problem and I really hope you will be able to help me. You see I never expected I will ask you for such help but I have nothing else to do. You know my mum promised to send me money for tickets by western union as soon as I will find out prices but she was told on her work that because of economic crisis she will receive all the money she saved from every months salary only in a few months. So that is why she can`t send me all the sum for tickets now and she was able to send only 200$ I have got it today.I can`t delay my flight because all my documents are arranged on exact dates..

Tom I wanted to ask you to help me to pay for my tickets directly but I was told in travel agency I can't use your help or ask you about sending me tickets or ordering electronic ones because I have a permission to use the help of the travel agency only. Your see its business of travel agency to arrange all travel things for my trip, such is the law.If I will but ticket by myself, I won`t be able to use my work visa. so you can`t send me tickets. I`m sure my mom will help me but she needs more time and I can`t wait so long because I need to buy tickets till my flight date. I was in the bank to try to ask them a loan but they said I need to have registration in Moscow to get a loan from their bank and I don't have it! I know I`m asking you for very big but maybe it will be possible for you to help me. You are my last hope and I have nothing else to do. If I will not buy tickets my visa will be canceled and it will be forbidden for me to apply for visa again for next 8 months. I have only about 150 dollars that I expected to take with me for the first time and plus 200$ mom sent so if you will help me with 950$ I will have enough to buy tickets and have some extra money for travel needs. I know its a big sum of money ,but please try to help me and I promise I will return you money back after my first salary or as soon as my mom will send it , as she promised. I will cross my fingers hoping for your help because I want to meet you so much!!!!! I will be waiting for your answer!!!

I will be here in late evening and please don't worry if I can't answer immideatelly I have too much to do. Tom make a transfer by western union, I have got transfer from mom and have all the info for it and it was so easy to get.Only show my passport. You should know my rent address here is 21/56 Azina street, Moscow, Russia.128544 Remember my full name is Anastasiya- (first name). Ranneva -(last name, its the right writing in transliteration from russian, I was told it by manager in travel agency). and you should put it on western union list and you can choose any bank in moscow,so I can pick up the money at any bank of moscow. and nearest bank with western union office here is - name of the bank - SOFRINO,streetOZERKOVSKAYA NABEREZHNAYA, 12; city-Moscow, postal code -113184; phone number --- +7-495-9537712 it will be safe to use western union transfer because I need to have passport to receive it!And please after you complete transfer write me the number of the transfer, P.S. I`m so sorry I asked you for such help, but you see you are my last hope and now my only wish is to meet you. I want to start a new life and I`m sure we can spend so many happy days and probably nights together!
Please try to help me with the sum and in one month I will return you money back!!

P.S.Tom dear I am not sure I should tell this but I want to let you know if you don't like me when I come I will not bother you and it is only your choice to spend time with me or not. I know you may be too busy or just meet different woman but in any case I will return the money back. I will have a room for rent if I want, a job and I want to say please don't worry I don't want to use you just to reach my goal. I am sure when we meet we will have no regrets about it, Tom I promise. I dream about our first meeting, our first night .............I think everything depends on you! please, honey, don't leave me alone I've done so much to start this trip and I don't want to give up.and as always forger about important thing,please tell me your full name I mean right writing because when I was getting mom's transfer they asked about full name of the sender,not only my name!it is the law!

Sent:
Hey Anastasia!

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and how her work is refusing to pay for her and how this all left you in a jam. I'm a software engineer (make lot of money) so sending you what you need is no problem at all...especially considering how much I want for you to come live with me. I made the transfer through western union to the bank you told me to (Sofrino bank i think it is called). the transfer number is 0255472289.

I hope this works! Let me know if you run into any more problems!

See you soon!

Jimmy (really, call me Jimmy, only my grandmother calls me tom).

[[fyi - that is a completely made up transfer number. It has the right number of digits, bit I totally made it up]]

Received:
Jimmy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you sooooooooo much you are helping me!!!! You made me very excited and I am very thankful to you!!!

Jimmy I was in western union office but manager told me it was no transfer from you so pls send me a copy of receipt ok?? I can't wait to meet you! My heart beats so fast now! Today I will go to see some more sightseeings, I'm having very good time here but I'm sure when I come to you we will have simply great time together!!!! I can't wait to get to know you better!!! Do you like massage? I can make very good massage!!!! I will make it for you if you want, let me know!!!! You are the best man I've ever met (or almost met) and there are no such great man in Russia. You are so far away and so close to me...You are in another country and right in my heart.... Oh... I became a little sad because you are not with me now... I will try to smile for you!!! I know soon the day of our meeting will come and I will be able to hug you!!!!!!!!!! Isn't it great? I think so! I have a good feeling we will like each other. I think it's just a voice of women's intuition inside me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please trust my voice!!!!!

I'm sending you a kiss by the wind and I hope you will receive it!

[[At this point, I sort of planned on strining her/him along for a while, sending fake transfer numbers to banks further and further outside of Moscow. I started getting a bit worried about my future as it might cease to exist if I ever did decide to travel to Russia and happen upon the wrong street. With this in mind, I came up with the perfect ending.]]

Sent:
Hi Anastasiya,

This is Emily. I am Jimmy's wife, and I check his e-mail. I don't know who the fuck you are, but my husband was about to send you $950! I saw the receipt from Western Union in the car and I canceled the transfer, so no there is no fucking money for you today. And no, you are not stealing my man from me!

Stay the FUCK away from my husband!

Received:
Hello ! Honey, I`m so sorry I asked you to help me with tickets. I really didn`t expect I will ask you for such help. I thought my mum will send me money to moscow so I would have enough. But the last minute she told she is enable to help, she has problems on her work. you see I can`t delay my flight because all my documents are arranged on exact dates and if my flight will be canceled I won`t be able to apply for visa for next 4 years.. Oh I just can`t stop crying.. Pls help me and I promise I will return you money back in 1 or 2 month, my mum will send it to us! And also I will start to work as soon as I will arrive. I never lied to you and always told you truth. I promise I will never hurt you. If you will help me, I will fly to you on Saturday and we will spend really great time together!!!

I can`t change it on another day, so I have a little time to buy tickets. I'm not going to solicit the money from you... I thought it will be possible for me to come to you and be yours... You have captivated my poor heart and I just don't know how you've done it. I'm still desperately want to see you!

Honey if it was possible to send me tickets I would have asked you to do that. I checked all ways and that's not possible. you see if I won`t buy ticket my flight will be canceled and I won`t be able to apply for visa for next 4 years.. I'm so sad now, so sad that I don't want to live. I want to fall asleep and don't get up one more month! Please don't think Oh, why I met that Russian girl in Internet, she promised a lot and never done it. I really wanted to come to you but you know I've never travelled so far away and I was not smart enough to set up all things for my trip. I still feel I need you in my life so much. I pray it will be possible for you to help me somehow. No one here can help me, I feel myself so alone.. I asked all my friends and realtived but no one can give me money even for a few days. My mum will send me more money just in 1 month and I need to buy tickets till Saturday or my flight will be canceled.. I so hope it will be possible for you to help me somehow. Pls make a transfer on my name and I promise I will fly to you on Saturday and finally kiss you!! I`m waiting for your answer!

Your girlfriend
Anastasiya

Sent:
Anastasiya,

It's me again, Emily, Jimmy's wife. I'm not entirely sure what the fuck you didn't understand in my last email, but i'm going to ask you one last time to stay the fuck away from my husband. DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!?!?! i don't care whether or not you come to america. if you do, great, congratulations, but you sure as fuck aren't staying with my husband. you're not giving him massages, you certainly aren't his girlfriend. We have a three year old son for christ's sake. he's not leaving me. Find another way into the country!

DON'T FUCKING REPLY!!!
Emily.

[[Moral of the story: If you see fire, go ahead and play with it a bit, but make sure you don't get your hair too close because you'll just end up with a stinky mess. Thanks for reading.]]

Wednesday 28 October 2009

Part IV: Just Beg Me For Money Already!!

I have to say, this scammer has some persistence. Sending me the same messages over and over about massages and living together and what not. Despite my hardest attempts to appear completely baited and completely willing to send ridiculous amounts of money over the Pacific to a complete stranger, Anastasiya finds it necessary to woo me some more.

Received:

Hello Tom! as always I am glad to see your letter and do hope that you have the same feelings when you see mine!!!!!to be fair I think I'm a lucky girl to meet such good man as you in Internet world! I hope I will be lucky enough to meet you in the real life soon!

Yesterday I told my mom about you. She said that now she doesn`t worry about me as before she sees that I have met right man!I want you to know that it is our with mom decision to leave russia,my mom spent a lot of years here and she was so beautiful (now too) and she has nothing now,and she tells me that I have to leave here as soon as possible I am not too young and 27 is enough old for women here and i do hope I will be able to meet my dreams there and I am not afraid to work I am afraid to be lose here and spend all my life without any result of my hard work I worked in some clubs and everything was all right but now nobody here has money and they can't pay for my work and I have not money to keep my body and face,you know everything costs money and I have to buy a lot of cosmetic to keep my skin and hair because it is all I have (of course I have kind soul but to be fair nobody here has interest to my soul) they all want to use my body,sorry if it sounds rude but it is the truth!

I told my friends about you and everybody said they will cross one's fingers for us and they hope you are a good man and we will like each other! to be fair I feel myself so sad... I will miss my work ... I almost cry now... anyway I don't want to make any steps back and I want to continue my arrangements. Tom please forgive me but today I have not time to write long letter again, Tom you should know that after sending this email I will go home, take my packed bags and fly to Moscow! I`m really afraid to fly on a plane! I hope my plane will not fall down! It is several hours from here to Moscow. Tom I have been to Moscow before but it was a few years ago and I only remember that it is very huge and voice city with a lot of people with crazy eyes!and I'm so nervous now...Tom You know... I had such great desire to start my trip already.. and now I feel myself like a newborn kitten who has even didn't open it's eyes... I just want to hug my mom and don't want to go anywhere...but I know that's my dream to start a new life and I will try to turn in to reality! Soon you will hear some news from me from Moscow!!!!!!!I do hope you are really kind man and will not make me sad!??!!?!?!right!??!?I think I look enough pretty to make your friends envy,how do you think????I`m so exited we will meet soon! I will be able to find a work so I will not have money problems. I took all my diplomas and dresses but don't worry it is only one suitcase. You know I sent documents for visa to moscow about 2 months ago, so when I will arrive to moscow my visa will be already ready!!well,I have to run,I think I will be able to send letter from moscow tomorrow but if not please don't worry I m not sure how long I will need time to find rent room and cyber cafe.Please wait for me and don't look at different girls,you know I am the best!!!(joke).and please forgive me that every time I have not time to answer on your questions but when we meet we will have a lot of time to talk and you will know all about me then!
Kiss-Kiss from Anastasiya.

Sent:

Hi Anastasiya!

I'm getting so excited! I'm sorry you have to leave home and say bye to your mom. I'm sure that's hard for you. But you both know that you are walking (or flying in, i guess) to something better. I'm glad to hear that you've brought your dresses, you're lovely, you don't have to worry about looking pretty here, from what I see, you are much more beautiful than all american women. It's good to know that your mom and friends approve of me, even though they hardly know anything about me!

Safe travels to Moscow, and I hope to chat with you soon. Let me know if you need anything or if I can help you out with any of the stuff you're dealing with no about your travels.

See you soon!
Jimmy (really, call me Jimmy, it's what everyone calls me).

Received:
Hey my dear Tom , can you believe I am here in moscow,what is the great city it is!!! You can't imagine how happy I am because I am on the way!I still cannot believe I've done it! WoW! As I wrote you I was scared to fly on the plane but everything was OK and I'm still alive !!!!the people from agency did help me to found a place to stay, I rent a room from an old woman.The hotels here are very expensive and I think I am not princess to spend money to live in hotel where the room costs about 150-200$ a day! Very expensive city,people here tell me that it is the first city in the world to pay for everything! the lady where I rent room is about 70 years old. She said I have to be very careful. By the way, one more thing about my trip.

Agency will help me to rent a room to stay near my future work in your area. And I have a question,is it O.K. if we will like each other may be it is possible to live together?I think it could be more funny than to live alone in rent room!?!??!??!of course if you don't mind and of course if we like each other from first time!!!As you know I will stay there for several months and if I want I will be able to prolong my stay there.now I miss my family... but I'm getting better with every hour . Tom, please write me as soon as possible!

See you soon!Big kiss from moscow!!I will write again soon!I think that today I will send all the info about my flight schedule and all travel things!people from agency have told that everything is ready and I will get all the info today and I am waiting for the letter from my mom,she promised to send as soon as she can!well,I will close this letter, I have so strange feeling that I know you for many years and I have never met you before but I am so sure that everything will be all right between us and I even have hope that maybe we will have more than just meeting and spend time ,maybe something waits for us in future,you know I am very romantic and as any woman I want to meet the man from my child dreams!O.k .Let,s meet before!!!!! and some funny pictures for you I have found in cyber world,and I have a few pictures of me from my family album but I can't send it from here because different rules here and manager promised to help me to send them today!
See you soon,
Anastasiya.

Part V is coming soon. It's the last chapter. Savor it while you can.

Monday 26 October 2009

Part III: Persistent Perestroika

So...I'm obviously being recruited by some creepy dude. He's trying to get me to fall in love with a fictitious Russian woman with miserable English and really nothing to offer me that I really want. If she were, for example, to mention that she was bringing her X-Box, or maybe a bundt pan in some cool shape, or a bread machine, or an ice cream maker, then I'd probably be in. I'd be willing to fall for this. Well, she/he didn't offer any of these, but I was bored, so I kept it going. HOLD TIGHT!!!

Received:
Tom Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please forgive that my letter is so short today but I don't have enough time to write a long email today I'm in a hurry.... Please write me the name of the closest Airport to you (possibly International) and the code (if you know ,For example the closest inter Airport to me is Irkutsk and it's code is (IIA). I already started to pack my things and I want to start my trip ,so I will go to Moscow from Irkutsk. I have so many worries and I'm so afraid to start everything but if I don't start it now I will never do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will go to airlines office now and will buy a tickets to Moscow, its very expensive, but I have some savings so I have money to pay for plane ticket to moscow and to pay for renting room in moscow. As soon as I will arrive to Moscow, I will finish my documents to travel, as work permission, medical insurance etc.Tom when I am in Moscow I will buy ticket to your airport. I know it will not be cheap, but my mother will receive a salary for last 6 months (her work detained wages) and will send me money to Moscow .and about one important thing,do you agree that good sex is quite important for successful relationship? I like sex but at first I have to be sure that I have feelings because just sex without feelings is not so hot and tender,I thihk so.please how you see this thing? Tom I think that if we will be together we will have a lot of fun because we both are enoug old to understad that all the things ending in the bed!!!!and we will have hot feelings I am sure!do you have big bed for us,some kind of the joke!but like they tell here there is some truth in every joke!Sorry I am a little fantasy today!Tom now I know you little more and I think we should tell about all the things and be sure that we want the same things!!!

Talk to you later!
Anastasiya,kiss you in virtual space if you don't mind! !!!!

Sent:
Hi Anastasiya!

This is all happening so fast. I'm really excited! I live about 20 minutes from San Francisco International Airport (SFO). I have some extra time off from work, so I can take the day off when you arrive and I can show you around the city and get you accustomed to the American way of life!

Sorry, I'm really busy at work today, so I can't write much more. But I am really really excited! Let me know if you need any help with anything between Moscow and San Francisco. I talked to my friends that own a disco down the street. They say they need to hire some cute girls to serve drinks. They're keeping a position for you, so hurry up!

See you soon!
Jimmy
(my friends actually call me jimmy, it's sort of a long story, but it is what it is).

[[I was also getting a bit nervous about this scam artist knowing my email address and what not, so I began trying to ween him off my name...I assumed a new identity Jimmy Soliss]]

Part IV is coming soon...tomorrow actually...probably.

Friday 23 October 2009

Part 2: From Russia, With Love

I should start with some commentary. I ran into this girl on match.com. She looked completely normal. She had normal things in her profile. She liked racquetball. She had just finished a book that, while I had never heard of the title or the author, sounded reasonably interesting/normal. She was holding a cat in her profile picture. I don't like cats, but this increasingly seems to be a trait I have to change in order to convince a woman to enjoy my presence. I'm not saying that I started making wedding plans or anything, but I was certainly filled with a bit of joy that she (it could've been anyone really) sent me a message.

Anyway, without further ado (is that really a word? is it a do? uhdoo? oh well) I bring you the next segment.

Received:
Hello !!!!
my name is Anastasiya! I have seen your profile on Match.com and I liked it.I'm not sure what write for the first time, I think that at first you should see my photos and I'm sending my photos...I have some photos, to be fair I have many photos I like to take photos and I wanted to work as model and I can and like to dance a lot.I studied dance from 6 years old.you should know I'm looking forward to visiting your beautiful country and I would like to meet a man over there who will be interested in meeting me!I will work in any bar or restaraunt because it is my proffesion now and I am good waitress.My mom was abroad a few years ago,and she has told that I have to leave russia and try to live in civilazation country,she thinks that I am enough pretty to live here, I don't feel that I am beautiful like Hoolywood girls but not the worst variant,I think so. [[I still laugh when I think about that last sentence...hoolywood...HAHAHAHA!]]

I've never been abroad before and I would like to visit there so much! I'm looking for a friend, lover or maybe even something serious...I'm a free bird now, I don't have a boyfriend and I'm open to anything!!! Please if you have time and the wish to meet young lady please write me about yourself too!!!! I am looking just for a good man who can show me over there,I`m 27 years old, I hope my age is ok for you??I live in Russia.In small town in deep of Syberia. There is big enough city Irkutsk and many people work there ,there is not well paid job here.

I hope that you will write me back? I will wait for your answer. When I hear back from you I will write more things about myself and send more pics! and please some pictures from you ! and please forgive my broken english! Anastasiya.

PS: This is my personal e-mail address so please send a word to let me know if you want to continue correspondence, I will wait for your answer!!!

[[At this point, I realize that this is pretty obviously some sort of scam that I probably shouldn’t get involved in and hence, do not reply.]]

Received a Couple Days Later:
Hi its me again! I was waiting for a message from you, but you wrote nothing to me.. What is your name??? I really thought we can talk for a while and I want to know you better, maybe we have something in common! Pls send me a note, I hope to hear from you soon!!!!
Kisses, Anastasiya

[[At this point, I realize that this is most surely a scam that I cannot help but get involved in]]

Sent:
well anastasiya. i'm a bit confused. your original message said your name was shawna and that you were from cheshire, or. did i miss something?

Stay tuned for Part 3: Persistent Perestroika

Wednesday 21 October 2009

Part I: The Courtship

Received:
Hi,Im Shawna, found your profile interrssting and wwould like to get to know you better.


Sent:
Honestly, I was about to write you a message, but you beat me to it. I totally don't remember what's on my profile, so, for the sake of not repeating myself, how about I tell you what I did with my day. I went to work (it was excellent, I just finished up a project, so now I get to go through old e-mails which is surprisingly fun). I came home, went for a run, stopped by the store to buy some butter and a couple heath bars. Watered the garden. I baked a couple dozen heath bar chocolate chip cookies for the couple down the street that found my temporarily lost dog the other day, and had a couple of pints of IPA out of a growler I got in Hood River this past weekend. Now I'll probably try to finish up a book I'm reading. It's not very good, I got it at the airport a couple of weeks ago. Impulse book buys can really go either way.
Anyway, on to you. What did you do with your day? Where's Cheshire? Are you from there? Is that your cat? I'm assuming it's your cat. It certainly can't be a stranger's cat. I guess it could be. I've learned my lesson too many times in putting unknown cats that close to my eyes.

cheers,
tom

p.s. the fact that you spelled racquetball properly in your profile is tremendous....



Received:
tsouhlas, i dont visit this site often these days. why dont you email me at dpdpoollivid@gmail.com . we can chat there and i will reply you with my private pics. cya


Sent:
Hey,
For some reason, I have a feeling that you may be trying to steal my identity. Regardless, here's the message I sent yesterday:
[[see previous sent item]]



Stay Tuned for Part II: From Russia With Love

The End of a Match.com Era

Well, friends, I'd like to say that my long departure from this blog was due to a series of unfathomably whimsical trysts full of seduction and rapture. Unfortunately, that would be a complete lie. I've spent most of my time watching prime time programming, vacuuming, and doing laundry.

Other than the one date I had with the canine-missing woman, I have had only one match.com experience. I will tell the story of this experience in a series of relatively short blog entries that will hopefully simulate a bear hug of enjoyment.