Weird, Actors and Actresses Can't Read

Yeah, I'm a loser. On this lovely Sunday evening, I drove my sister to an Oscar party, I went to a diner and ate cherry pie with ice cream, and I watched the second half of the Oscars. Everyone talks about how long the thank you speeches are and what not. The way I see it, whatever. They just won the best award available to them (sort of like the employee of the month award at the Taco Bell down the street). When they stutter and stammer and cry and fall all over themselves in saying thanks to all the people in their production, it's sort of cute. When presenters, however, have unbelievable difficulty getting through a relatively simple sentence full of commonplace congratulatory adjectives, I can do nothing but laugh my ass off and wonder how much freakin' money I could be making as an actor, or at least, a presenter.