Monday 15 February 2010

Julia Child, Get Out Of My Dreams, And Stay The Hell Away From My Car

The other night I had a dream. I'm not exactly sure what this dream meant, but I do know that it was creepy, and that it ruined my relationship with Julia Child.

So, in this dream, I walked into a bakery. The reason I walked into the bakery was to order a coffee from a cute girl that worked at the bakery. the girl may or may not have been loosely based on the girl at the deli counter at the grocery store I go to. I've never had a reason to get anything at the deli counter, but one day, when I walked by said counter, the girl on whom I crush made fun of my flannel to one of her coworkers. Adorable, the making fun of flannel, even if it's one I happen to be wearing.

Anyway, back to the dream. The girl is behind the counter, looks like she's closing up the bakery for the day. I order my coffee, we make some quick banter, then Julia Child comes out of the back room and told the girl to go clean up the kitchen. How dare Julia Child order my girl around like that! Anyway, Julia started chatting me up in that gobble gobble sort of way she talks. It seemed like it was taking her forever to get me my coffee. She started asking me if I like various types of pastries. I liked most of them. She demanded I take some of them from her store. Apparently she was throwing them all out and they'd be of no use to her if they remained after I left. Who am I to turn down some sweets made by Julia? I'm no one to be turning down sweets made by Julia. I took the sweets. She gave me my coffee. She charged me $38.24.

She charged me for all of the sweets. The girl didn't come back out of the kitchen. I woke up and went to work. Great start.

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