no no no YOU chill out

Maybe I'm a jerk, but you show me someone typically described as being really "chill" or totally "laid back", and I'll show you someone I'd rather swim across Lake Michigan than meet. Both (1. swimming across the lake, and 2. being in the presence of a laid back person) are unbelievably painful. Both are only endurable in so far as you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In the spirit of Casimir Pulaski, I'm begging all of you "chill" people to get a personality. Jot some notes down before talking to me. Pick some conversation topics. Something from the news, I don't care. Make up a story and tell it in the first person. Lie to me. I really don't care. Casimir Pulaski didn't help any laid back people through a conversation. He didn't fill the awkward silences with banter. No, if Casimir realized you weren't going to be an active member of society, he sure as hell wasn't going to offer you a slice of his interesting pie. And as a new rule, I don't do anything that Casimir wouldn't do.*

Happy Casimir Pulaski Day!

*This does not mean that I would do everything that Casimir did. The Revolutionary War does not sound like it was fun. On second thought, I think I would go to war if I were certain that, if I did, tiny little Illini in the future would get an extra Monday off of school.