Relationships of Inconvenience.

So, I've been known to be a fairly picky suitor. It's not that I'm a superficial jackass or anything, but rather, I prefer convenience and a handful of other mildly meaningless traits. I appreciate it when people speak in an audible volume, but not so loudly as to raise aggression when within the confines of a public transport vehicle. There's also a soft spot in my heart for people that wear clothing appropriate with the outdoor temperature (they never need to borrow a scarf and they're never covered in nonathletic sweat spots.

I understand that some of the above may be seen as completely ridiculous and that there is most likely an element of self-sabotage in there somewhere, but this next one is totally important. Globalization has taken the world hostage. It's impossible to avoid communication anymore what with the cell phone always in the front right pocket and the g-chat messaging center always glaring at you in the lower left corner of the computer screen. Face to face communication barely exists anymore (I don't think I've physically spoken to a person not employed by Jimmy John's in like a week - hold on, I've been calling my order in at Jimmy John's).

The importance, then, of geographic proximity to a new friend or potential love interest is absurdly important. Too close and the whole thing good go aflame in an inferno of smothering attention. Too far apart and, well, someone will end up spending way too much money on tracking across the city while the other one is forced to become increasingly creative in their "I'm busy tonight" excuse making. Old friends, fine, regardless of where you go, some sort of relationship will persist into the future. I think, though, I'm going to create some stipulations on new friendships and relationships.

1) I think I'm only willing to travel by car if it's a direct route..between Division and North, or between Halsted and Clark...I guess it can also be within a block or two of Clybourne which adds a bit of diagonal leniency.

2) Within 5 stops of the Division and Clark Redline stop. I say 5 stops now because I'm between books, once I get a new one I'll be willing to extend my train riding a bit more.

3) If you live on the 3rd floor or higher, your elevator must be in good working order.

4) All of the above rules will become void upon evidence of the existence of a La Bamba's or equally delicious taqueria within a reasonable radius of your home.