Wow, Somalia Is Now REALLY Freaking Me Out

All in all, this is actually kind of funny. Somalia has been going through a bit of a joke of a time. From what I remember, the Somali government had to leave the country and govern from abroad to avoid being murdered. Now, back in the country it sort of oversees, the government is trying to hold on to whatever power it may still have.

As if this chaos isn't news enough, a bunch of Somali pirate jerks have managed to steal the headlines in newspapers around the world. A French yacht was seized with a 3 year-old taken hostage. An American ship carrying FOOD AID was temporarily seized. A Dutch ship, a Belgian ship, and I think a Turkish ship have also been attacked in the past couple of days alone. Countries from all over have sent massive destroyers to the region in attempt to fight off a bunch of guys in tiny speed boats who apparently like wearing tank tops while they brandish their terrifying Soviet weapons. The inclusion of American vessels into the mix, I think, will likely guarantee an influx of money into the region. The money will help the government buy the power it needs to confront these pirates on land and to assist economic development efforts in the region.

In the face of this global epidemic, the Somali government has decided to NOT address the absurd piracy. Rather, it has voted (unanimously, nonetheless) to impose Sharia law in all of its lands. "What?" Somalia says, "some of our citizens are hijacking massive ships carrying millions of dollars worth of cargo from some extremely powerful nations? Whatever." Rather than create a reasonable climate in which to receive international funds to fight piracy, to regain control of the country, and to walk down the road of development, the country has decided to take little girls out of school, drape them in clothing, and throw rocks at them for doing anything that seems fun. Women aren't the only ones to suffer. Men have to grow disgusting beards, and will likely have to give up their televisions and radios. Essentially, the government has taken away everything fun and has ended all potential for normal socializing. What do people do when they're not allowed to have fun? Well, they pick up guns, put on tank-tops, and start hijacking ships in the Gulf of Aden. Somalia's solution, then, to the pirate problem: let's create a climate in which piracy becomes the coolest and most reasonable outlet for fun and the most stable form of income with which to have said illegal fun.

I don't mean to be an over-confident jerk, but sometimes it really does seem like I could potentially be more capable of running a country than a lot of people that currently run countries. Then again, I have a history of Monday morning Presidenting.